SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER / EXPERT - READ CAREFULLY - PLEASE

LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN! I am getting a slew of applicants who are telling me about their bookkeeping skills, and all sorts of other skills that I DON'T CARE ABOUT. READ THE POST. READ IT CAREFULLY. THEN TELL ME HOW YOUR SKILLS MATCH UP TO WHAT WE NEED. PLEASE DON'T WASTE MY TIME OR YOURS. IF YOU AREN'T WILLING TO BET 10 AP points on this job, because it is SUCH PERFECT MATCH FOR YOUR SKILLS, DON'T APPLY. AGAIN. READ. THE. JOB. POST. CAREFULLY.

We need a social media manager / content creator / expert. But... PLEASE read this carefully. If you cannot honestly say YES to every line item below, please do NOT apply. We don't mean to be harsh, but when we post a job, and we get 95 applicants in a day, it takes us days to get through it, only to find that half the people were not honest with us about their skills.

We are often inundated with applications and people will say anything to get a job. We don't want to waste our time or yours.

Don't tell me "Hi I am a great fit, please review all of these links of all my information". I ask you this: if you posted a job, and 50 people applied and they all said "Hi, I am the right person, click these links to find out why" what would YOU say? Do you think I have time to review 3,4,5 links of information when a person hasn't COMPELLED me to do so? Think carefully about the cover letter you send, and remind yourself that I am going to get more than 50 of them. Maybe 100.

You will have to pass a test, and if you tell us something that you can do well, and you can't, we will find out. Please think carefully before applying. You must be able to say YES to every one of these bullet points:

-You have done hundreds upon hundreds of posts from static images to videos.
-You are a perfectionist and you HATE misspelled words in English
-You have a solid eye for design, you are creative and you can create wonderful, eye catching posts
-You have at least decent graphics skills and video editing skills
-You have sense of style, and you don't need to use silly special effects to get attention (but you also know when silly special effects might be useful)
-You keep up with the latest trends, and know what formats (and video lengths) are currently acceptable in FB, IG, TT, and others.
-You are good natured, and fun to work with, and you have a sense of humor
-You know what a deadline is and how important that is and can meet them
-You can handle being very busy, and understand how the work you do will affect the big picture
-You have a great and reliable internet connection, preferably with a secondary backup connection
-You have reliable computer equipment and smartphone
-You do NOT have another job and are able to commit full time to the job we may offer you
-You are willing to learn
-You are willing to speak your mind if you think there is a better way to do something - we WANT your input.
-You can work a fair amount of the time on Eastern Standard Time. We don't expect you to completely work on our hours, but there HAS to be a good amount of overlap.

If you are the right person for this, understand that we are committed and loyal to our employees. We LOVE our overseas people and we treat them REALLY well. And, they share in our success. If we have a great month, everyone has a great month. We are a digital marketing agency and we are growing and we want the RIGHT PEOPLE to be "on the bus" with us. If you have to read the above again to make sure you are a good fit please do so, and please mention the 8th president of the United States in your subject line or we will know that you DID NOT read this whole ad.

Thank you for looking and abiding by our requests. Let me just say it one more time IF YOU DON'T SEE YOURSELF AS AN EPIC SOCIAL MEDIA NINJA, then you are not the right person.